Some Days are Just Sad, Weird Days

And this, alas, is one of those. It was time to say goodbye to my old broodmare, Bonny. The vet came out and it was all over in a few minutes. The fact the end was peaceful for the old girl did nothing to make it easier for her human companions. Nope, our animals simply do not live long enough.

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What made everything extra bizarre was right as I was waiting for the vet to arrive I received an email from my brother saying he and his family were stuck aboard their plane on the tarmac at LAX. The airport was in lockdown mode and he wanted to let us know they were all fine.

Family members evacuating from LAX on foot... Everyone is fine, though they had to spend a while aboard their plane on the tarmac.

Family members evacuating from LAX on foot… Everyone is fine, though they had to spend a while aboard their plane on the tarmac.

The two events together really underscored the fact that the line between being here – and not – is a fine one, indeed. And, anything can happen – just like that your life can be turned upside-down. I am sure feeling appreciative of my lovely family today (thanks for being there during a trying time today, guys), and relieved that those who are travelling are ok. What a strange mix of emotions… I think I need to go and hug a dog or kiss a chicken, or something.

13 responses to “Some Days are Just Sad, Weird Days

  1. How hard it is to say goodbye… sorry for your difficult day. *hugs* So glad your family is okay!

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    • Thanks, Shari –
      It doesn’t matter how often one goes through this or how ‘right’ the time might be, it never gets easier. It just feels like the worst betrayal of trust to say to this animal who can’t possible understand, “it’s ok, this won’t hurt… it’s for the best.” And at the same time my rational mind knows it is such a gift to be able to end an animal’s suffering quickly and with no distress to the animal (which is how it was today). The distress was all mine and that, I suppose, is the price we pay for having the gift of these animals in our lives for as long as they are with us.

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  2. This was a difficult day, all right. Remember Alexander and the terrible awful no good very bad day? (Judith Voirst). He wanted to chuck it all and go to Australia. His mum consoling him, said “Some days are just like that”. And indeed they are. I have had to make tough decisions with cats and dogs, fortunately never with a horse. It is never easy, but I am always grateful that I have this option for them – I have said goodbye to too many relatives who suffered for weeks or months from the ravages of cancer, not to recognize the privilege we can exercise with animals we are about. I’m glad your travelling family members are fine.

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  3. And by “like” I mean “am in sympathy with…”

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  4. Yes, in sympathy with too. Hoping that tomorrow is an easier day and there are lots of good memories to sustain you.

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  5. Andrea Spalding

    Love and Hugs Nikki. But ‘thank you’ on behalf of your lovely horse for giving her dignified peace. I won’t tell you what my beloved 98year old Mother is going through, but its cruel. So happy your family is OK. May today be a day of loving memories and no regrets.XXXXXXX

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  6. Judy Gwynn-Williams

    So sorry, loosing an extension of yourself is so hard, they are your family whether dog, cat, horse, chicken – I recently had to do it for my beautiful white cat, not from age, but so many medical problems seemed to happen at once – cancer, thyroid – and you know it is for the best. My dog was with me as they did it, they were only 2 weeks apart in age, and grew up together…I can relate to your heart breaking…and wanting to hug a warm bodied chicken or dog. Sending love your way, and feeling sad for you.

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  7. I am so sorry that you lost Bonny. My heart is just breaking for you. I’m glad your family was ok in LA. Such a poignant, thoughtful post. I think a chicken hug is in order.
    Thinking of you,
    Jen (Hens in the Yard)

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    • Thanks, Jen – it’s amazing how reassuring (and just plain distracting) it is to have the daily routine to fall back on. Regardless of what upsetting thing might have happened, the hogs need water, the horse paddocks need to be mucked, the eggs collected, and on and on until the day ends and you realize you have, in fact, reached the end of another day. In all its ordinariness, that routine works a kind of healing magic…

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